Welcome

Good evening NBA fans.

David Stern and I would like to welcome you to your new home. It's not much yet, but I think you'll find your stay here quite comfy. If you find yourself getting hungry, no worries, we've stocked the cupboards with Thunder Dan Majerle Bars. Help yourself.

Why, yes, that is a real Oliver Miller pelt spread out in front of the fireplace. I see you have an eye for fine decor. No, the hard part wasn't tracking Miller down. The hard part was carrying the pelt and fitting it through the door. I almost went with the Robert "Tractor" Traylor, but they required that we post the bail upfront.

You shall find your quarters upstairs, two doors past the shrine to Larry Bird. Rony Seikaly will help you carry your bags and turn down your bed for you. Should you need anything in the middle of the night, the artist formerly known as Shaq will be around to help. He'll be the guy on the couch, eating Fritos and watching Renegade reruns.

I'll be back in the morning to check on you and make sure Nate Robinson didn't attempt to rob you in your sleep.

Good Night, you Tayshaun Princes of the Hardwood.