Celtics 100 - Grizzlies 96: Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen carried the Celtics past the bearded Grizzlies last night -- wait, that was Tony Allen and not Ray Allen? Are you sure? I mean, I saw him making threes and everything! Not since Wile E. Coyote raised an anvil over the Road Runner's bird seed have we seen such a clever mastermind like Doc Rivers. In an attempt to get inside Detroit's collective minds for tonight's matchup, Doc instructed Ray Allen to miss all of his field goals. Ray kindly obliged, going 0-9 on the night (although he did sink 2 free-throws and dish out 5 assists). Also, Rudy Gay had his front tooth chipped by James Posey. Despite the blood and pain, Gay was excited, "No, it's cool man. My dream has always been to be Lloyd Christmas for Halloween. Now all I need is the wig and some body paint."Rockets 96 - Magic 94: NBA officials once again have decided to not let reality get in the way of their calls. With less than a second on the clock, Orlando's Adonal Foyle tipped in a Rashard Lewis miss that should have tied the game and sent it into overtime. Instead, the officials declared to the crowd, "No Overtime For You!" and said no basket. Stan Van Gundy promises to raise hell about the call -- and I'm sure he'll have a ton of luck. Protests of these kind almost always end up with the league ensuring that justice has be-- this just came across my desk: The league doesn't care. Officials are flawless. Quit your whining, Van Gundy, and go pose for the next Wario game.
Spurs 97 - Knicks 93: Isiah Thomas' road to the Championship hit a bump last night named Bruce Bowen. In a game where the Spurs stars seemed unable to rise to the occasion, Bruce Bowen said, "I got this". He was maniacal on defense and deadly on offense. He lead the Spurs with 15 points, including sinking two free-throws at the end to put the game out of reach. Said Isiah Thomas after the game, "This will probably be the Finals matchup this year, so it was nice to get a good look at the competition. I'm going to ride my unicorn over to the 7/11 and buy a new Christmas tree for my dart board. If no one else is going to eat that microphone, I'm a little hungry."
Pistons 101 - Raptors 85: The Pistons extended their win streak to 11 games. It was a close game until the 4th quarter when Toronto laid down their arms and let Detroit pass without a fight. Chris Bosh took time off from his youtube career to go for 23 and 16, but it wasn't nearly enough. Detroit had 5 players score in double-figures and are already looking ahead to their showdown with Boston. "They'll be in our turf this time," Rasheed Wallace said. "D-troit! That means we'll have guns and other various weapons tucked in our waistbands. You ever try to shoot a three with a guy pointing a glock at your groin? It's a tad bit distracting."
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