Thursday, January 10, 2008

Brian Scalabrine's New Blog (Exclusive!)

Good day to you, people of the Internet.

This is Brian Scalabrine, the fiery haired forward for the Boston Celtics. The fine folks at this here website offered me my own blog, and I thought, "Shucks, it wouldn't be right to turn down such a generous offer." Therefore, I am going to be reporting regularly to you about not just basketball, but the life of an NBA superstar as well. I hope you like it and I hope you visit often to catch-up with everything that's going on in my life.

We just had a tough loss to the Bobcats of Charlotte, North Carolina. They were a feisty bunch and just seemed to want it more than we did that night. That will happen over the course of an 82-game season. You can't dwell on losses like those or you'll go batty! Players each have their own way of dealing with defeat. Some guys like to play video games, others spend time with their family. Me? Well, after the Charlotte game I did what I always do after a tough loss -- I murdered a hobo with a screwdriver.

Yeah, I know, it's kind of a weird way to vent my frustrations. I look at it like this, though: I'm not just alleviating my stress, but I'm also helping society by destroying the scourge of the earth. It's what my grandpappy always used to refer to 'killing two birds with one stone.' I'm real gentle with the hobo's too -- I reel them into my car with promises of hot dogs and candy canes. Then, before their behinds even have a chance to touch the patent leather of my passenger seat, I jab my screwdriver into their trachea, and push them right back out of the car and speed away. And yes, I do prefer using a phillips screwdriver, but a standard head will usually work just as well.

After that's taken care of I'll come home, pop in one of my favorite movies (usually something from my Olsen Twins Collection or a nice John Candy comedy), pop some delicious popcorn and just snuggle on my couch with my dog, Elvis Presley. I often times will fall asleep like that. Sometimes I awaken with half-chewed popcorn kernels stuck to my forehead and notice that I've left the television on all night!

It's silly, I know, but that's the life of an NBA superstar. Be sure to join me next time for another peak into into my world! Thanks for reading everybody! See ya!

18 comments:

Johan said...

BEST. BLOG. EVER.
Keep 'em coming, Scal.

Anonymous said...

I guessing this may be something that you have been "asked" to do.
This is your way of doing it. Scary thing is that I like it.
If i'm wrong then some may think that it is a bit over the edge. But then that's just point of view.
Well as long as you have to do it I may as well read it so keep up the interesting anecdotes.

Section323 said...

Even though the loss was tough, take solace in the fact that your thunderous dunk was the best part of the night. Keep up the good work.

Anonymous said...

Therefore, I am going to be reporting regularly to you about ... the life of an NBA superstar as well.

Are you going to be following Pierce around then?

I kid, I kid.

Seriously, that dunk you threw down the other night versus the Bobcats was nasty.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

"Therefore, I am going to be reporting regularly to you about ... the life of an NBA superstar as well."

Superstar? u serious man? u cant even shoot straight man how the hell u call yo'self a "superstar" ?! damn poser..

Anonymous said...

This is not Brian's blog. Brian is very upset about this individual spreading vicious rumors about him. PLEASE STOP.

SCAL IS BEAST said...

Hey Brian, I'm Tyler. Me and my brother Ray have been watching you play for quite some time now and we think you're awesome. I live in New Jersey and my parents don't have much money. The stores here don't sell your Jerseys, just 76er jerseys. It would be sooo cool if you could send us two extra large jerseys. If you don't, it is OK, we still think you are the best. whenever me and him play basketball video games i always dunk on his face with you. My address is here -->123 Kings Highway, Mt. Royal, NJ <--Trust me it's not fake. Please Mr. Scalabrine, I wouldn't like anything else in the world. It took me forever to find this blog and I'm so happy I found it. SCALABRINE IS A BEAST!!! Please E-MAIL me at poofmagician@yahoo.com

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